The issues are simple: 1) I know my problems. They're organic. 2) I know my solutions. They're organic. 3) I have very little patience for all the things in my life that take more time than they should or suck harder than they have an excuse to due to the incompetence or indifference of others. That's organic. 4) I have a latent and burdensome rage for all the people in my past that fucked me when all they needed to do was help the tiniest amount. That's organic, too, but there's nothing that can be done about it other than wax on, wax off, wave hands like clouds, push in the jive, bring out the love. So what we're left with is a high degree of self-awareness and a reasonable amount of mindfulness that, combined with an aversion to drugs, means there's effectively fuckall a mental health professional can do for me. I had this discussion not a week ago. You know what I'd do with a shrink? Shout at them. Yell at them. Cuss at them. Berate them as a surrogate for everyone that has stood in my way for no goddamn good reason or kicked me when I'm down because they just don't know any better. And I'm far too mature a human being to pay someone to shout at them. I'm glad you're having a positive experience. Mine have not been "mixed." They have been breathtakingly negative. It is fundamentally offensive to my soul to pay someone money to fuck my head over worse than it already is.
You know yourself, You know what does and does not work. Just know that I'm in your corner. About once a week I get a notification to congratulate you on some exercise milestone, so I know you're out there doing the work. To that end, I know you like to use apps to track your progress. Have you ever used the meditation app "Calm?" My brother bought me a years subscription to Calm for Christmas. It's been a great addition to my mornings. Takes 10 minutes. It's pretty amazing. I highly recommend.
I did a panoply of meditation shit. At one point there were five different apps on my phone. Meditation and centering isn't my problem; my problem is that in order to avoid tearing out the wall that my contractor didn't want to open in order to run the cable for the Daktronics display that isn't mine, I'm having to roll crazy-ass IOT comm port servers that one person at Daktronics recommended, another uses and nobody will call me back and I'm seven hours into this fucking problem. Every problem I have involves plowing through four people that can help, but don't. You can't meditate your way through that. You have to grind.