I've gotten noticeably more in the past three years. But my hair is light, and it doesn't stand out. I don't much care. I think grey hair looks pretty cool. That said, I used to dye my hair all sorts of colors, and I resent that it isn't widely acceptable to do so outside of youth. I don't have much problem dressing or appearing outside of people's expectations, but the friction that it causes is a hassle. If I didn't work in a 'professional' environment, my fashion would probably would drift much more, including hair color. I feel most comfortable when I can. Most of the woman I know that have gray hair color it. I wonder how many of them feel trapped in the cycle.
The taboo against exotic colors in age is not entirely an ageist one; my wife rawked Run Lola Run red hair for 30 and 31. The problem is that you can get away with Manic Panic and your friend's Wahl job when you're in your teens and twenties because it's kind of expected that your hair looks like shit. As soon as you're professional you need to be groomed and maintaining professional-looking Run Lola Run Red was costing my wife about $200 every three months. I've had a pony tail down to the small of my back since... shit. 1992. But halfway through college I started shaving the sides - call it an "un-mullet." As a consequence, I appear groomed; I probably cut my hair more often than most men. This allowed me to have hair longer than my wife and a real job. You've got short hair. Go to a professional salon - like, a good one - and say "I want it to be purple. The kind of purple that will work with a Brooks Brothers suit." I'll bet you they pull it off. I'll bet you you're also startled at the cost.
I don't think my wife dye's her hair because of grey's she just likes to color it the way she likes. I'd like to see her try brunette. She often suggests that she may shorten her hair and I'm not a fan of that. At all. I'm much more attracted to long hair on women for some reason.
I think you should ask her. Women spend more time on their appearance not because of vanity but because society judges them a lot more harshly than men. My wife generally hits her hair with henna every six months or so and it's mostly because if she doesn't, the first thing people notice about her is the gray. She'd actually be at an advantage - most of her competition is older than her - but because gray is so unusual in anyone who isn't 65 or older, the act of not dying it becomes a socially-aberrant statement.
There are short cuts that I think look pretty good, but more often than not, I find longer hair more attractive. It's likely a function of being a straight male. At least it seems a common opinion among us. I enjoyed having long hair myself, but I don't think I could pull it off as well as I used to. I did try to dye my hair grey once long ago. It came out a purple gray.