Mind if I ask which city you're in currently? Europe is a great place to go on a trip like that, were you backpacking or staying in legitimate places I had a long talk with a professor earlier about the last part that you brought up, and what he said is very true and that is that I have a split personality right now in terms of what I want to do and what could make me happy. Fork in the road.
Currently I am in Düsseldorf, studied in Ulm until the end of March. I mostly visited friends all around Europe. I spent half a year in London for an Erasmus-internship and met some people there. My family is pretty mixed (polish/palestinian/german), so they are everywhere. I did most of the trip by train, some with blablacar or bus. I have to be honest, I am giving advice that I am having troubles following myself. I know what is right to do but still can't decide because of fear or whatever. If you thought that I have everything figured out, be assured that I have no clue :D