I like my me like I like birdcages, damaged and advertised on Craigslist.

I like my men like I like my bird cages: full of dead birds and bird poop.

I will do better.

I like my women how I like my bird cages: suspended by straps with a stamp on the bottom.

I like my women like I like my bird cage; easy to look at but hard to get inside.

Edited.

I like my men like I like my bird cages, very knowledgeable about the want ads from 1992.