I would attribute it to a lot of things, my thoughts about going down the wrong path included. I was one who denied the validity of depression, claimed by those who didn't know how to be happy. I was always known by everyone to be the happy person. But then a massive shit storm of terrible occurrences came about and I lost the ability to find beauty in things. I didn't want to (nor do I still want to say) I was/am depressed, but it might be so. Things I'd attribute my depression to: the realization of how much debt I have, relations with roommates going sour, missing my family, the struggles of not agree with the concept of college/money, and winter and the lack of light it brings along with the inhibition of going outside.

I believe my passion for music has been waning not because of my sadness, but because of the hindrances I feel the educational system puts on the creative aspect of the music. I feel as if we're getting way too into crazy scales and things to play over chord changes that it's not even about the expression of oneself. I've begun to rebel in a sense and superimpose time signatures over the ones the rest of the group plays to not necessarily throw them off, but to realize not everything has to fit into the mold the professors are telling us it has to. I sort of have taken an interest in hip hop bass lines as that's about solid groove and not fancy shmancy scales. I don't know that the program would allow me to take a break, but it's definitely something to consider and talk about. I don't have time to watch this now as I'm about to leave to go camping with my girlfriend for the weekend, but I will once I get back.