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comment by Kaius
Kaius  ·  4368 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: All My Life I've Been Told I Was Special. It Was A Lie.

Thats a fair point, there is a trend now to reward children when they make an effort which makes more sense. Its also what I do with my own children, praise them when they work hard.





lelandbatey  ·  4368 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yes, as I've heard it stated before: there isn't enough emphasis being placed on the effort and the hard work that lead to success. There's plenty of praise being piled onto the child/person, and that's the problem.

We say "Oh you're so smart because you got A's in your classes" instead of "Oh you worked so hard to get A's in your classes."

One of those (the first) makes it sounds like your success is inevitable because you're smart, and smart people get things like A's in their classes. The other emphasizes a process of work, of gradual change through effort.

 

Now, this isn't to say that no one should be told that they aren't smart. Many people are smart, and saying so should never be a bad thing. However, a more healthy mix of smart and hard work needs to be praised.