An interesting point. What I'm talking about more is people who are outside poking their head in and acting like they belong. Its hard to explain just how you know, but you know. Its why I have a strong dislike for The Big Bang Theory; its a satire about geek/nerd culture without actually presenting something that people in that culture can relate to.
A hot girl who doesn't understand references? A bunch of dudes who are in to science, engineering and video games? That's not really nerdy. My friends are gamers, comic book fanatics, furries, and anime nerds. At this point I call myself a tabletop gamer more than anything else. One is a tattoo artist, three of us are history majors (myself included) and the furry is a chef in training.
Our jokes are all lots of in-jokes. Going the way of the dwarf is dying. When characters die, we play Amazing Grace done with a bagpipe because of a CD we found at a gas station while going to get Star Wars minis for a shadowrun campaign. Its both making fun of something else and of itself; yeah, its stupid that we just play amazing grace when a D&D character dies.
Its not funny when people put things off to play Halo. That's what I talk about when I say that outsiders pretending to be part of the culture is pretty grating. Its because its pretentious that people can just do that, especially when the people who step in to the culture and act like they belong are precisely the kind of people who forced nerd culture to the outside.
I will say this: I dislike people judging women who try to be fashionable and play video games. They're not mutually exclusive. I try to dress well (I am not a woman, no dick pics please) and I play video games. Its one thing to wear say, a mario shirt, or have the triforce on your clothes some where.
It's another thing if you walk around wearing a reddit shirt. That, to me at least, says that you don't really belong and that you're not willing to learn. I actually do think that geek/nerd culture is open so long as you are willing to give it a bit of a chance. But a lot of the learning is watching quietly and being patient, and when people and companies especially just sort of rush in to the culture they seem garishly out of place, like a real life version of the Star Wars Blu-Ray Special Edition.