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Funny how that happens. I found a passage I was searching for on Hubski from another source just last month. I cannot speak to what you seek granted my own experience and place in life, though I'd be curious to know what you'd envision doing or having once you've realized what you've lost? I'd love to echo what I hear around me to you by way of suggesting introspection (specifically towards what previously drove your interests), but that isn't always the clearest solution.