Today is a special day for me.

I've been a quitter for as long as I remember myself. Smallest obstacle I can't easily climb over, and I'm done. I tell myself "I can't do it" and go back to playing videogames and whatnot.

Today, I didn't. I stuck to my guns, certain of having to do the thing - and did it!

The thing in question is a presentation for a subject that might be translated as Safety Lessons. It's a mandatory subject in schools and universities of Russia and some of the other former Soviet states and it barely deals with actual safety, but as much as I don't like it, I have to have a check for it to pass.

I've been stressing out about the presentation because a) I didn't remember the topic exactly, b) I only started doing it a day before the due date, which is today, c) it requires me to stand in front of an audience as I present. I also misunderstood the point of the topic initially due to a somewhat-confusing wording, by which point I had to throw whatever little work I did into the bin and start over. I was also tired from breaking another jogging record that day, so despite the energy boost from the early run, my mood tended to shift to something less optimistic. Done with the design of the presentation - the simplest, most visible and, for me, most exciting part - I decided to finally relax and let the rest of the work be done tomorrow.

Starting working again... wasn't easy. I forgot to take the cold shower and kept thinking towards "Oh my god, that's so much work, no, I can't, I don't wanna--" - but by 6 AM I managed to get it together again. After a short run - which I, quite cleverly, did around the house rather than at the lake, 30 minutes of walking both ways - the strength grew back, and I did what I could for the upcoming presentation. It's not the best presentation, but it gets the job done, which, in this case, is enough.

But the final test came before the lecture itself. I grew tired from both the run and the mental strain and kept thinking that I want to quit, knowing that I could just present it the next week with no repercussions. At one point, I told myself, as if realizing exactly the point of what I did so far, "No. I stay, and I present it the best I could. The sooner I'm done with it, the better".

That I didn't get to actually present the thing because the time ran out doesn't bother me. I knew, all the way, that I could do this, and I know I'll be able to do it next time. Moreover, I've managed to ascribe the first presentation slot of the next lecture for myself, and the reason I didn't have time was because I let my former groupmate in front of me in the queue; she didn't seem to be as stressed by the prospect as I was, but if she was, indeed, under a strain from it, she now doesn't have to worry about one more thing.

Like a boss, Hubski! I did good, and I'm proud of what I did.