My kid won't listen to me and do what she's told, just put your fucking pajamas on kid. She was sent to bed with none of the nightly fun privileges she normally gets. Spent twenty minutes sobbing in her room.
I'm not a parent, but I feel your pain. Children are born as an virtual tabula rasa, with none of the understanding of the world that you've accumulated, and it can be very annoying and even maddening when coupled with children's naturally-overblown ego. They want to the world to bend to their will, and when that doesn't happen, they feel either very angry or very sad about it.
But ego-breaking - the process in which the child understands that the world won't bend on its own - is necessary in a child's upbringing, and as heartbreaking as it may feel for you as a parent, it's what has to be done. Your parents probably felt the same when they were raising you, but you never got to see their tears both because you were occupied with yours and because they'd never let their kid see them. As pragmatic as it is, think of it as present joy versus future happiness: it's better for both of you if you break a few lectures to her to make her a better person.
Stay strong. I can only imagine how hard it must be to raise a child, but you're doing God's work by letting her learn how the world works. She'll thank you later if you keep being a good father.