a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by AshleyR
AshleyR  ·  2957 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How am I to be less needy? How do I make friends?

Wow. I guess you're in the same situation as me then. Welcome to the club.

After reading a bit about Tomsk, well, yeah, we are on the very same boat.

Yeah, Meetup.com has a big portion of programming meetups. I haven't looked much into why that happens.

But there's hope, you're still in uni! You can find people close too your age there and it's easy to find them. When you graduate, it becomes harder.

Me? Well, I hang out there too, but I finished my course. I go there once a week to check up on the current magazines and newspapers. Another thing I end up doing is chit-chatting with the library assitant.

    this New Year I've met in an unfamiliar company of people in a private library. It was a bit stressful until we got warmer to each other, soon after the clock rang twelve times.

Cool! I struck up a conversation with a Danish couple in Buenos Aires a couple years ago. Thought they were Dutch and started talking in English. It turned out that they were staying in the room beside mine. I could see that they enjoyed the surprise.

    I presume that, had I a familiar person beside me and were I more energetic, the warming-up would have been much sooner: this is how I operate.

If the person was familiar to you, it could have given you more comfort to talk to them. If the person was familiar to them, I agree, things could have gone a bit faster.

But.

It's never easy to talk to strangers. Even after doing it for years, I still get butterflies in my stomach. You end up learning how to deal with it. At best, it becomes a warm thrill. At worst, it freezes you.

It also turns out that it's not easy for them either. Trying to intersect different worlds is no easy task. It takes time to warm-up. No way around it. Take your time. It feels very creepy when people force connections.





user-inactivated  ·  2956 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thank you.