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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3281 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Asshole Theory: An open letter to qiy, as well as everyone I have ever or will ever mute

Not sure where to put this since I'm referring to a lot of statements made on this thread.

I think what really happens when someone starts up on this site is that they see a very unique and amazing link sharing system that is not available anywhere else, start using it, and then feel like they discovered some treasure that they will never discover anywhere else and get defensive over this site. When someone starts discussing something that is a personal pet peeve on this revolutionary treasure they've discovered, they explode and react negatively towards everyone and everything and degrade into illogical argumentation. If a website that is supposed to be their Mecca, their Heaven, their City of Gold, their place of pure awesomeness how can it contain <insert_whatever_here>?

This happens in regular human relationships, too. You discover someone you find completely fascinating and you think is the ultimate mate, then you discover something about them that you wonder, how could this perfect person have this trait?

I think the key aspect about who stays longer than others turns into social or mental maturity which is why the "core" group ends up looking more mature than others. Just like relationships where most immature people end up breaking up over little things and the most common relationship advice turns into "don't sweat the small stuff". It just takes some time and weathering and "getting used to each other". Fights will happen in all mature relationships and can be productive.

I know that when I joined up for realzies I reacted the same way. I don't even know what it was I said or what you said or whatever and I don't want to dredge up the past but really it was just that I had probably flipped into frenzy or started acting irrational like that. Obviously I'm more prone to that by nature being mentally ill, but still, it happens to everyone and the real measure of maturity is if you can get past it and move on. If you can, you'll probably end back up here because the link sharing is still superior to any other site.

Isherwood somewhere buried in this said:

    I'm really confused because I can't tell if you're casting yourself as the gatekeeper or not and, for either side, what's being argued? I think I swooped in on some drama when I was killing time at work and don't have full context, so there are some side points that I don't quite get.

I also kind of agree with this, I'm not really entirely sure what the goal of this post is in it's entirety and I probably stumbled into some weird drama, but part of my personal weathering and learning was to just completely avoid the drama on this site and just use it to have fun, learn things, and share knowledge.

I will say that a certain level of drama is healthy, but in some cases it isn't. I haven't been on this site in a couple of months due to work being overbearing as it usually is that way for me. I tend to have a week or two where I have some extra time to come and have some fun on the internet but mostly I just end up working all the time. The point being here is that every single time I log in after a month or two, even if I don't post or share and just click a couple of links, I have to look right past a large portion of drama happening.

So while I tend to try to just avoid the drama here for my own mental health at some point I do feel like I need to step in and say that sometimes this drama is bad for everyone if it seriously is happening all the time, which I'm not sure if it is or isn't but I certainly seem to see a lot of it, so some community self-evaluation may be in order if people really are to the point of leaving after being here for quite a long time (minimum_wage is gone I learned from this post).

Again, I'm fully aware that I'm stepping into drama that I'm unaware of, and you can scream "Donny you're out of your element!" as I am fully aware that I am, but just my two cents that sometimes a constant yelling and pissing matches going on detracts from the point of the site which is mostly to have fun and have fun and insightful discussions. When it seems that the most of the drama comes from or at least tends to lead to the "core" group getting involved in some way, I don't really see why anyone would want to or need to pay attention to the "core" group when I'm enjoying myself just fine on this site by just skipping right past it.