As I go through my first Uni month, I find myself less and less determined to pursue exercises. It all depends heavily on whether I feel successful - that is, whether I reliably achieve goals I set to myself. Getting into the rhythm of university is difficult: I still lag a step behind my peers in homework in one particular subject, and even though it all comes easily to me - partly because I've already studied it - I still feel like I'm underachieving, which makes me perform poorly in other areas of my life. That being said, I understand very well both that physical exercise is good for me and that I want to achieve it. It's going to be difficult to get back to for a while - I have to step up my academics game first, as it's more important - and then, it's going to be difficult to get back on the same horse I rode before, but I hope that, after all that, it's going to go as good as it was or better. One thought that keeps me going is the idea of loving myself. It's something I didn't grow up with - respecting myself, accepting myself, loving myself - and this trinity turns out to do wonders once you apply it. I found out that the things I can't achieve aren't because they're somewhere in the Unachivia - I can't because I don't care enough about them, and I don't because I don't care about myself, about what I am and what I want. Once I start to do those three things, it becomes surprisingly simple: I figure out whether it's something I really want, and if I do, often enough, I go do it. Granted, there's a whole road ahead of me on the matter, but it gets easier once the right values are applied to the process. Thanks for cheering me up, Fov. "Kia kaha" is a very powerful phrase; it made an impression on me. Is the whole of Maori culture as cheerful?
It's fascinating that we can understand the need for loving and accepting yourself - even go as far to apply it to situations in the future when that does eventually occur, but still struggle to act on it in the now. I totally get where you're coming from there. It takes a long time, and much like any positive physical changes to your body, it comes in small tidbits that you won't notice yourself. I'm very impressed that you have allocated your priorities in such a good manner too, when I was at University I was caught up in the party and the sports that academics fell behind - and it took me a few terrible grades to accept that the academics is literally the reason I was there int he first place. I don't know how old you are, but doing it at all speaks of maturity and a willingness to sacrifice. I also agree in your plan, settle yourself in your main priorities; be it work or study, and let the others fall into place when you have the time. Getting on the horse sucks but you've done it once, and you'll do it again. On the Maori culture, I think I can say yes - New Zealander's as a whole are known for being extremely laid-back, but also unerringly optimistic (especially in the rural areas where I hail from). We often get confused for being nonchalant to the point of apathy but we just operate under an overall feeling that things are going to be fine. At the very least, you'll have some people on this forum wondering "What's TFG doing with his workouts?" And I reckon that'll get you back on the horse in no time; not because you require validation, but because you know we want to see you succeed.
There's even a well-known phrase to capture this sentiment, and every Kiwi knows it well - "She'll be right, mate". Always applies.we just operate under an overall feeling that things are going to be fine.
Thank you for your kind words, as well as for reminding me that it will take time. I grew up believing that stuff ought to happen as soon as I wish it to; paradoxically, it applies even to growing patience so far. I was once in a higher education venue, a year or two ago. Back then, I mostly considered the university to be an area of social contact more than it was educational. I still learned some very valuable stuff, but it wasn't academics, which is why I failed my first year - partly a reason why I quit that time. Eventually, I came to realize that since I'm here by choice, I better apply myself - or what am I doing here? I wonder, too, why don't other young people realize that to begin with. We must be missing something about our higher education all around the world, at least in the first and second worlds. What bothers me right now is how I seem to lose energy quickly in the university. I'm an introvert and I feel quiet discomfort around crowds of people, which is all you can see around here. Given that I spend most of my time in crowds nowadays, I'm afraid I won't encounter any comfort soon unless I spend all the rest of my time at home alone, which isn't a viable strategy. Both extremes are unsettling. Do you have an advice on how to juggle it?
Sadly I don't have much experience with being a n introvert. I tend to be energized by social interaction and time alone is a chore I put up with until I find something else to do! I did however find a lack of passion emerging after a few solid months workouts out. I decided that it could no longer be simply about passion, it had to be discipline to get up and do my time in the gym despite not really wanting to. In that note, I achieved that by seeing the gym as a place I could control, and sort of be at peace. I'd have my headphones, do my routine and mentally unwind. It's not an aggressive iron orgy for me - it's how I take stock of the week that's been and what's to come. Perhaps this mindset might be of benefit for you when you're feeling overwhelmed by the crowds, the pressures of academics etc. It'd be two birds with one stone, attending workouts and allocating some time to establish mental acuity. Just a thought!