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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3135 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How do you convince a completely miserable person that the world isn't such a terrible place?

Which is my question. Would you persuade him to stay? why? how?





user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I wouldn't. People only want to persuade suicidal people away from that decision because they don't know what comes next, and it validates the choice that the non-suicide makes to stay alive.

The better question is: Why is he wrong?

If he kills himself, then he is done with this world. If he doesn't like this world (even though that may very well be a temporary problem with a permanent solution) then why stay? Most of the time it's because people are afraid of what's next. Hamlet said all this centuries ago so it's not extremely profound, but it does answer the question of, "What if he's not wrong, and neither are you, because nobody really knows anything about existence?"

user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That's an interesting perspective. Don't you feel like you're supposed to help the guy away from the self-killing? Don't you feel like you'll do something good with this?

user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I try not to assume that I'm correct in my decision to continue living. I only know that I did it for selfish reasons because I like life and what I've done with it so far, and death is scary. As well, there is little consequence to me to delay death until later because I doubt that if there is something after death that it will evaporate before I get there. I also want to see my son grow up and I owe it to him to be around because I brought him here and will not abandon him no matter what happens to me personally.

This decision would be entirely different if every day was waking agony and the decision to delay death would only serve to continue that.

The idea that I might do 'something good' with my life is based on some cosmic sense of right and wrong, which we also don't have any proof of. I went to war. I killed a LOT of people. Hundreds, if not four-digits because I was in the Air Force and we don't do this onesie-twosie. They were praying, living, and fighting just like we all were but they were holding the wrong flag. They got killed because they believed in something slightly differently than us in the grand scheme. Their lives were worth that small belief difference to us.

So, if someone believes in something much more important (life being too painful to continue) then why should I stop them? I've killed for less.

user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I try not to assume that I'm correct in my decision to continue living.

Is it a decision for you? Other people don't seem to even have that question pop up in their heads. Do you feel like there are many people asking this question, in one way or another?

user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's not a question for most because society forces a blanket prohibition of suicide on you. The question is answered for you daily. You will continue living because you will not be looked upon kindly if you commit suicide. People will assume you were faulty or tragically flawed or any other number of things. But no one will assume that you were right because it would throw their whole existence into question.

I've thought about committing suicide before. I don't think that my poetry leaves that question unanswered. I didn't do it because I have obligations other than to myself. So no matter how much I may have wanted to in the past, the thought of my son growing up without me is worse. I owe him. I am going to pay that debt.

user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's noble of you. I wonder what others, in different situations, have to answer - those, perhaps, without such obligations.

    no one will assume that you were right because it would throw their whole existence into question.

Is it a question in which a situation of being right may occur? It's a personal choice, you've already stated, so answering this in any way is as right as wearing anything you prefer. Maybe this is why nobody asks the question: because they already know the answer, and it's the life that throws them pieces with the taste of suicide to chew on. What do you think?

user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think more people ask the question than you think. You wouldn't know if someone did. It's embarrassing for a lot of people to admit that they've contemplated their own existence as not worth sustaining.

Maybe everyone but you has contemplated suicide. You wouldn't know at all. It's not likely, but it's possible.

It's a situation where being right may occur, and it's a question where no one actually knows the answer. So everyone can pretend they're right, and maybe some people are right, but no one knows until they get there.

user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    So everyone can pretend they're right, and maybe some people are right, but no one knows until they get there.

Which defies the idea of being right in this particular case, doesn't it?

user-inactivated  ·  3134 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That's what I'm saying.