Well they can give you the dread of having to go talk to FinAid again because they fucked with your grant again because "we weren't sure about your need in area 'X' or 'Y'."

My EFC is 0. I'm like 99% I'm fucking eligible you neanderthals.

Let's see, what else. Oh they can give you the finger while trying to take money from you for as long as they possibly can. "What's that? You have healthcare? Well you'll want to opt out of the Student Platinum Plan or that'll be $2,546."

"Yes, this student fee is necessary for the new recreational outdoor pool that only freshmen will use before the week of school starts."

Loans. They can give you loans.

They caaaan give you the realization that you don't belong.

They can put more effort into whatever Greek Life you might choose than they ever would with clubs with an emphasis on diversity or helpfulness in general.

Oh, and internships or whatever, I dunno.

The only thing universities can really give you is that piece of paper at the end of your 4 (or 5, or 6, or 7...) years. When the loan bubble pops and we hit Great Depression: ACT 2, then we might change the structure to be more intrinsically helpful and scholarly. But till then I'm going to wait and watch and chuckle a bit.

At least Obama bumped up that sweet, sweet Pell Grant cash. THANKS OBAMA (no seriously).