a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  2742 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's Writing Prompt: The End

The next morning Matt woke up in his bed but on the wrong side. She had commandeered his normal spot on the left side of the bed by the bathroom and as he walked all the way around the mattress he tried to tiptoe over anything which might create a makeshift alarm and interrupt his quiet morning. He used the bathroom and quietly returned to the bed. She was on her stomach seemingly sleeping and Matt lifted the sheet to see her body again. He was amazed at how sculpted her body was, and felt lucky that he was funny and good enough looking that a combination of the two could work sometimes to help him hit a natural cycle like this.

"See anything you like?" she asked him.

He didn't drop the sheet and looked back up to her face. "You cuffed me last night so I guess this is what I was getting punished for. I'd hate to be cuffed up for nothing so I might as well make hay while the sun's shining."

She pulled the sheets down from his hand on top of her and turned on her side to face him. "That's the moon, not the sun. Why did you have those cuffs anyway?"

He laughed, "So you could use them, obviously. It's not as if cuffs are something that you can just borrow from the neighbor if you run out. My buddy down the hall may have a condom but he's not going to be fully stocked in everything that may come up, you know?" He paused and looked at her face, "Did you like that, having me cuffed up and helpless?"

"Well it was something. I'd never done anything like that before." She paused and bit at her thumb. I liked the way they clicked when I closed them. Tik-tik-tik around your wrist." She looked at him and her smile changed as her lips parted. He had his hand between her legs now. She closed her eyes and breathed in. "You're right. It's the sun."

Tik-tik-tik. He closed the metal bracelet around her wrist and she gave him her other hand. He wrapped the chain behind a rail on the headboard and clasped the cold metal around her wrist forcing her arms above her head. He kissed her on the mouth and down the side of her neck as he moved her breasts around in his free hand. As he moved on top of her he took her breasts with his lips and she breathed in sharply. Matt laughed and looked up at her, "My best friend is a lesbian. You're going to like this a lot." He lowered his mouth beneath her hips and made his mentor proud. _______________

Sunglassed and loving life Matt sat across from Lauren smiling with breakfast between them. "But can you cure a hangover?" he asked.

"Fuckin' Fireball, it's too much sugar. And no one knows how to cure a hangover. We live in a capitalist society and for all its failings it is really good at doing one thing, selling solutions to problems that many people have. And yet, do you know of any product that actually cures a hangover? No, of course not. But that product would be in huge demand if it existed and we would all know about it. Thus there is no cure for a hangover. QED. Except morphine."

"It does cure everything so it would work on a hangover. Makes sense to me." They ate breakfast, made jokes, and generally enjoyed the morning as they walked around the city. Matt saw his ex-wife and said a polite hello suddenly aware that he smelled like last night's pussy and was covered in glittery makeup remnants.

She hugged him goodbye and worried about him.





Isherwood  ·  2742 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's an interesting ending. I read it again with the beginning and middle and it makes a solid arc for Matt. That last line also really helps to round it out.

I'd going to pull out one of my standard critiques and ask for a bit more connection between the characters and the situation. The cuffs certainly take it out of the romcom category, but the section itself feels a little shallow. The moon and the sun, the new experience, the morning after, they all seem to scratch the surface of this larger idea, but I don't have enough of the picture to bring them all together.

But, like I said, it rounds out at the end with the meeting of the wife. It connects when he meets back up with the best friend. It works as a whole, it just feels a little light at the end.

Also, I hate writing endings.

user-inactivated  ·  2742 days ago  ·  link  ·  

More like 50 Shades of Rom Com now.