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comment by Isherwood
Isherwood  ·  3267 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's writing prompt: The Middle

Absolutely killer banter. The dialogue was cheesy but totally believable and endearing to all characters involved.

The only thing I have to say is that three rules of conversing seem to float outside of the story. If he was pulling them from the pool of fireball pooled in him brain as he crossed the bar, or used them in the conversation, I could see how they hooked back into the story. If you can pull those rules in to the ending, I can see it hook back into the story, but right now it's just kind of floating above everything like an Emily Post rulebook sitting on the back bar between the Cutty Sark and Jim Beam.

Maybe I'll like it once I sleep on it, but for now it seems odd.

    Tonight he had a wind named Lauren at his back

This though, fucking brilliant.





user-inactivated  ·  3267 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't write so much as just say things that happened to me in a more interesting way. I always toast to Jesus and those are my 3 rules. However, I did totally realize halfway through that I had slipped in to writing a romantic comedy, but was more disappointed in myself than my writing because it all happened that way. Why fight it?

Isherwood  ·  3267 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm imagining a totally romantic comedy ending where, in the sobriety of the morning, the character loses a booze induced cool and awkwardly falls back on the three rules of conversation over a painfully awkward breakfast.

But there's no shame in slipping into a genre just so long as you don't prop your story up on it.

user-inactivated  ·  3267 days ago  ·  link  ·  

And my cool is not booze induced. Enhanced sure, but even sober I'm a fun guy at a party. Of course, who wants to be sober?

Isherwood  ·  3267 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ah, right, I'm thinking about what happens to me in a more interesting way...

user-inactivated  ·  3267 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I guess we will have to see tomorrow. As I recall it was a silly affair of looking for my underwear while trying to not wake her up, and then getting her out of my apartment so that I could have a hangover in peace.