I've been trying to come up with an answer to this since I read it days ago. I think I want to say that I like different kinds of mechanics depending on the tone of the game. If you want to feel like you're in control, make the game personalizable, like a CCG or a deck-building card game. Those kinds of games make you feel like you've got tons of choices and you're in complete control of your destiny, and it's how you've prepared yourself that determines how well you do. The big two for that are of course Magic: The Gathering as a CCG, and Dominion as a deck-builder. If you want to feel like you're not in control, and make a game oppressive and devastating, add a lot of randomness to the game, especially stuff that hurts. Games where players cooperate against the board are big on this, like Shadows Over Camelot. Every turn, something nasty happens, and your choices amount to triage. It's brutal but fun in an entirely different way.