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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3448 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Selfishness and I

    I am by no means an expert on the matter

Then you shouldn't by any means be talking about it when it comes to mental health. People often find themselves important enough to step over the intimate boundries of mental health which is far from the territory the person being told is comfortable with. If you have neither an advice to give or a way to help, you really shouldn't be there.

This link of yours... Tuck it deep under a pillow, keep it there and show it only to people you know aren't struggling with their identity and their dark sides. Jesus... Until I realised one very important thing after reading it, I was crushed by the possibility of the fact that all I did was for nothing, because apparently, this shit is just who I am and not the way I think. I have told you how much of this shit I've been through, bringing it upon myself until I knew better, and still, you've decided to throw the hammer at me by showing me an article that basically states "If you have that, you're a narcissist: here's the DSM to prove it". Granted, it was my fault not to look at it with more critique, but god damn it if you have no responsibility at all in this sutiation.

The important thing that I realised was - I did love someone, dearly and sincerely, and I will love again, for it's the best I can do.

Clearly, it was a mistake to open up to an Internet stranger the way I did. I appreciate all the insightful commentary you did, but this is way over the top, for both sides of this conversation.

To answer your last questions: yes, I would. I would show that person that the darkness they feel sometimes is normal, and since we're capable of utilising our free will - and there is free will for us - the best we can do for ourselves is to use it to make good decisions. I would tell that person that they already deserve love and that they deserve loving themselves. The world isn't the enemy; most of the times, we are to ourselves. Accepting that is the first step to making things better; having a person who has come through it as their guide, they're less likely to get lost, and I will do my best to share all of the knowledge that can be of any help so that their path becomes clearer, if just by a bit.

I will show them that people, though scary at times, are wonderful once you get to know them, so we have to do our best to overcome the fear and let others beyond our shells. We're not perfect, and we will never be; do your best and accept whatever happens, for it's the best you can do. I will give this person my most love and caring but will not be afraid to be firm when I have to; if I have to kick them off the coach or off the drugs, I will kick them - only to hug them afterwards, let them collect their strength once more and guide them through until they're strong enough to walk on their own again. If this person would have to leave me after they've gathered strength and have found their way, I will let go no matter how hard it may seem - and hope that they won't forget me and the love and care that I've given them. If they're indeed so similar to me, then by the time they're wise and strong enough to follow their own path, they won't: I know myself.





mamchmal  ·  3448 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I am not the first person here to suggest you might be a narcissist, and if you're secure in your knowledge of yourself, there's no reason to be appalled by an article about narcissism (not to mention you seem comfortable diagnosing a family member and your friend's family member with the disorder - are you a psychiatrist?).