We're often bullied into conforming to the "normal" when we're doing something others consider weird, odd, strange or simply unseen-before - even though no one knows what "normal" is. We've all been there at least once in our lives, more often in the current oversaturated society where there are so many people around us we have to listen to the music through the earphones simply to escape the enormous crowd. Someone does something which is not a common practice in the group, and the most vocal members of the group declare: "Don't do that! It's not normal, so don't do that!". Why? "Because I said so!".

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As I grew up both physically and mentally, I've discovered myself to be a kinky person. It was an interesting discovery, and I've been blessed for a short time for having a person who would let me express myself more freely - in fact, anything resembling "free" would be more free than I was used to at the time.

Most of my kinks are centered or are related to sex and sexuality. I've been extremely curious about how sexuality works in humans ever since I masturbated for the tenth or so time - because by then, I've been looking at nude pictures online to fuel my then-mostly-nonexistent sexual fantasy. Nobody knew that before two years ago for two reasons: I had no one to confide into this deeply and I felt inadequate for liking what others loathe or fear or for disliking what others seemed to find most attractive. It's never a healthy combination for a growing teenager, but thankfully, as I matured, I gained more respect and recognition for my deeper wishes and tastes - a process which was fully fueled by my disrespect and subsequent rebellious behavior towards my mother, a narcissist.

Around two years ago - the time that kickstarted my halted personal growth - I slowly started to realize that there is no "normal". It's only a label under which different people put different fears of theirs. Nobody's afraid of BDSM: they're afraid of losing control over themselves and even more so - of the desire deep down to give the control over to someone else. Equally nobody's afraid of radicalism: they're afraid of what it might cause. Nobody's afraid of honesty: they're afraid of their fears and flaws being called out.

I feel like not enough people know that, and there's no mainstream tool to spread the knowledge that is detrimental to personal growth and acceptance. While we most value numbers and natural phenomena, we must give attention to what's inside of us, to what one might call perceived or subjective phenomena - the things that are happening in our heads. People don't get to learn to be themselves because a uniformed society is so much easier to control and appeal to when the next elections come.

In order to spread the knowledge, however far it may reach, I present to you the incomplete list of bizarre interests that I've accumulated or found within myself over time. If just one object (e.g., numbers 1 and 19) is stated under one number, it means I'd like to know/see/eat/taste/so on as much as I can about.

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1. Women's bare backs.

2. Skinless muscles' movement (I'd love to see a human being without any skin moving in different poses to observe the beautiful muscle movement, however far-fetched the fantasy may seem).

3. Sex in a public place where no one else is, but someone in any moment can (preferrably predicatably) come in to.

4. Hugging (and other forms of non-sexual physical contact) rather than kissing to express love.

5. Examining the mind of other human beings, dissecting it to see reveal thought processses (my dream is to be inside another human's mind, being able to perceive what they think and how they think it).

6. In-person conversation preferred to any form of distant communication, especially the terribly-quailified cell phone calls.

7. Spending time in a company of one other person rather than ten (which is, in fact, a trait of introversion, but I feel like no many people know even about this simple distinction).

8. Obvious puns (damn hilarious).

9. Sleigh-of-tongue jokes (subtle puns, for example).

10. Being romantically attracted to a person only if the person is on the same level of intelligence.

11. Redheads with freckles and pale skin (a surprisingly common interest around porn sites).

12. Mutual masturbation when sitting very closely opposite each other (it made me so much hornier when I had the desire to do it).

13. Witty comebacks or humiliating verbal put-downs against anti-intelligent/anti-intelligence remarks (and high intelligence in any form in general).

14. Drinking a lot, but never alcohol.

15. Fantasy worlds with properly installed (read: rare and accurately-powerful) firearms.

16. Covers of songs, even if I didn't like the original song (Halestorm's "Get Lucky", first and foremost).

17. Acidic and sweet tastes together (Coca-Cola and proper lemonade).

18. Walking under heavy rain - the heavier, the more fun.

19. The United States of America.

20. The Germanic languages (German, English, Dutch, Norwegian, so on).

21. Shawarma.

22. Transhumanity and overall enhancement of human abilities through achievable means (technology or training).

23. Artificial Intelligence.

24. Human psychology.

25. Human sexuality.

26. Homosexuality (I felt like stating it again, despite it being included in the 25, because it is a special interest of mine).

27. Having sex with a homosexual (of both genders; see above).

28. A somewhat chubby woman (she most often has something to grab onto while retaining the attracting shape of the body; especially admirable is the tummy of the woman: it's a grand pleasure to slowly stroke it since it's so soft).

29. A dream of having a full big city at my disposal, entirely devoid of people but with electronics kept going (I could use those lights and mechanisms) for one day; bonus points for if all the living places are open to exploration. I shall never fucking wish for it again.

30. Peeking through the windows of the apartments once it's dark and folks turn on the lights (I don't mean to pry or learn of their secrets but am fascinated by the way others live - it's so foreign yet not alien, which creates great curiosity; I never do it for longer than a few seconds, for it looses its charm otherwise).

31. The DS (Domination and Submission) part of BDSM, both Dom and Sub (ideally, under full consent having a young woman under my full control).

32. Succinctness.

33. Every thing must stay in its designated place.

34. Fluffy brown hair (a remnant interest from the first girl I fell in interest with; interesting nontheless).

35. Macro focus on objects.

36. Film grain (not too much).

37. Photographs of a window with focus on the glass rather than on anything beyond it.

38. Big mugs for big drinks.

39. Speaking foreign languages with people from other countries (so cool!).

40. Strong and good-looking male body.

* *

...and I'm out for now. I gave myself a reasonable push, but there are still dozens of things missing: I know I'm kinkier than that... Ah yes:

41. Other people's bizarre interests (feel free to express your own).