a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by Grendel
Grendel  ·  3212 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Does anybody else get really frustrated with the "ADHD online community?"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this how "safe spaces" usually work? I have a little experience with them myself. I used to post on a forum for people who suffer from social anxiety, and the reason I ended up leaving was because we weren't allowed to say anything that might have upset other users.

I understand the importance of being sympathetic and non-judgmental, but there's a limit to everything. Sometimes you need to be told that you're wrong, that you made a mistake, that you're lying, that there's something wrong with you. One of the advantages of this kind of communities is being among people who can understand and correctly interpret some of your feelings and behaviours that are almost undecipherable to everyone else.

But instead of using this shared understanding to their advantage, to get better, most people seem content with staying as they are; self-pity and a sense of misplaced entitlement turn what could have been a place of healing into an echo chamber, where whining is rewarded and any kind of critical analysis is swiftly silenced. The more I learn about "safe spaces", the more "toxic and enabling" seems like an appropriate way to describe them.