“I’m so sorry you have to go through this, but I don’t know what to do.”
“This is outrageous. I hope it gets better.”
“I wish I could fix it, but the problem is so big. It’s never going to change.”
“I’m praying it will get better.”
“I hope these racist cops get life in prison.”
Well-meaning white friends, I’m going to be completely honest with you. None of this is helpful. Not one word. Your questions, your apologies, your wishes, even your prayers—none of them do anything to help end police brutality or the system of oppression that breeds it. Furthermore, your black friends are busy working through their own grief while trying to stay alive—they don’t have space for your feelings and they don’t have time to educate you.