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comment by randomuser
randomuser  ·  3286 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 25, 2015

Hey galen, So I'm going to go of insomniasexx post here and elaborate a bit from my side of it because she asked me to and I know the way to that girl's heart and can tell you from the way you are attacking the situation you're running on the borderline of completely losing any way to gain any control of the situation back.

First, let's take the solid advice:

"Girls like...certain guys. Call them the assholes or whatever. Say "girls don't like nice guys". It's not exactly that but it's what those statements are talking about. There are just some guys that I wouldn't ever be sexually or emotionally/relationshippy interested in. Yes they can be the nicest guy. Yes they can have everything I would ever want. But there has got to be some sexual chemistry. And I don't mean sexual as in literal penis in vagina sex sex. Just like...sexual in nature."

Girls like nice guys, but they don't want to be approached in a way that emphasizes this. Nice guys don't make a girl feel safe, I know this seems totally backwards but deep down psychologically, guys that come off as nice when you meet in a social situation seem like the guys that would not stand up confidently for you or be able to protect anything. Here's something on it:

"They (nice guys) make women question if they’re someone we can rely on to protect us. Even the most independent and self-sufficient woman wants to be with someone who, at the end of the day, makes her feel safe to be with. We want someone who can protect us if we need it. We want to know if some guy is talking shit to us our boyfriend is going to be there to help us out."

A girl wants to know you have a life and value your own time. So when, from the get go, you're into them 100% it's almost creepy, like what the fuck do you do with your time regularly? It doesn't really make any sense, but no one wants someone who is crazy into them and will do anything to be with them at first.

Don't get me wrong that girl that didn't want you to come on that strongly will want every bit of that later on. And the nice guy you were showing off, she'll want that too, but only after she decides your what she wants, and she will let you know so don't try to rush or force that shit.

"Furthermore, that "interested in a relationship" line is bullshit. Ignore it...sort of. I have used that phrase so many damn times when I wasn't interested in a guy. However, I have never gotten into a relationship when I wanted one. I have always unanimously (me, my heart, my brain, and my lady-bits that is) decided that relationships are bad and there are better things to spend my time and energy on. But I find myself in them anyways and, for the most part, it's been pretty great."

This is 100% accurate, this is what insom told me when I first started to feel like that was the route I wanted to go with her, I had to work for that shit, and I am very glad I did. She has been very much worth it.

The rest of the stuff in her post is subjective and will not work 50+% of the time, and it sucks to find out sometimes that the girl just really isn't interested which is what you may or may not get with insomnia's numbered advice.

In my opinion, you need to ignore that girl. Don't be mean, you'll fuck everything up. But get away from it. Make your time seem valuable/desirable, have stuff to do. Be busy, go live life there's a lot of it when you're younger you will not get the opportunity to continue later. Take your time responding to her, make it so that she is on your time until she decides to give you some of her own.

Assert confidence. Girl's need this, you being at her beck and call whenever she feels like it when you're not even at the relationship interest point just shows her that there is nothing more to be had or desired from you, because you are already giving her every thing she asks for. She hasn't had to reciprocate or put out any of herself for any of this from you, you're freely giving it because you like her which is awesome and nice and all, but also totally friend zone material. You have to make her want to/feel like its worth putting herself into you to get these things back from you.

I'm kind of over writing anymore as posts like this aren't usually my steez but Insom thinks I should post how I managed to get her number/address the first time we met because it's hilarious and rediculous and it kind of shows a lot of the oddities about what works when approaching a girl you're interested in.