This is the kind of internal conflict that I'd think you'd best share with the school counselor, and I believe your college should have one. The counselor would probably give you a nice extra perspective on your dilemma, backed by experience from dealing with loads of students in the past. I suggest you pay the counselor a visit. Will probably give a much more informed opinion - especially in a much tighter personal context for you - than what you'll find here. That said, what I think is that you're expecting too much out of yourself, trying to land the exact perfect set of circumstances in terms of grades and jobs. Why wait to land that perfect job before you decide to feel good about yourself? You still have time to interact with classmates, like eat lunch together, or chat/rant during breaks, or even study together and help boost each others' grades (which will meanwhile give you more confidence in scoring well and - who knows - improve your career opportunities).
Thanks for replying :) My school, believe it or not, does not have a counsellor. It is not very common in my country. I want to believe what you said, about the perfect circumstances, and I am certainly trying. And, I will try doing some of the things you said. I did not expect such a fast reply from anyone. Thank you for what you said.
Hmm, a shame then. Schools are one of the critical places to have counselors, when students are still developing mentally and sorting their minds out. Hey, at least you have some sort of plan now. Despair sucks and gets one absolutely nowhere. Unloading some of your mental burdens in the presence of close friends can help too.My school, believe it or not, does not have a counsellor. It is not very common in my country.
I want to believe what you said, about the perfect circumstances, and I am certainly trying. And, I will try doing some of the things you said.