[ It occurs to me that this might seem that I am advocating drug use, I really am not, people is people and some do drugs and some don't as long as you're not a jerk, you're okay in my book ] This is interesting to me because I am not always a fan of being always being in control. I have this outlook that part of being alive is accepting that our environment is part of us, we can not control it any more than we can change the fundamental properties of the universe. To me "letting go" of that control seems natural, although to be honest I haven't explored it as much as others. What about being in control all the time is appealing to you?
I don't necessarily see drug use a sign of being out of control either. They affect everyone differently though. I know one guy, someone I've known for years, who took a couple of shots of whiskey and suddenly became a monster. Angry, impulsive, ready to fight. When we hung out one night I ended up with 2 drug dealers a cocaine user and a prostitute in my apartment because he had invited them over from the street on the way over to my apartment. I could have called the cops, but I was literally too scared. These people were in my home. I haven't drank whisky with him since then, he's a much better person off the hooch. On the other hand, I know more than one person who graduated with degrees in physics and mathematics yet they were habitual drug users with completely normal lives from the outside. This just is reminding me of _refugee_'s quilt story: https://hubski.com/pub?id=198987Fuck yeah. Control is nice. I'm not a fan of losing it.
Pretty interesting interview with the first guy to synthesize methoxetamine (an analog of ketamine) I post it because he did the majority of work and abuse while pursuing a p.h.d. Also pretty interesting life story.
http://www.vice.com/read/interview-with-ketamine-chemist-704-v18n2 Also the only drug I've had a serious binge on (excluding weed/alcohol) ~45 days straight or so.
I'm going to find the time to write up a lengthy post in this thread. Drugs were a huge part of my life from 16 till Last april or so. I still use in moderation but not much like before. No brags, it's just a topics that had a big impact.
To be honest this was pointed more at alcohol than drug use. I can't say I know much about the latter, since I've never done it myself and don't regularly see people that do. It's appealing to me for a few reasons. I've always taken pride in my ability to be self-sufficient in a way. I feel disciplined and principled. I know people who don't have that control and their lack of it causes them to lash out and hurt other people. I don't want to be like that. Having these principles has gotten other students to try to get me to succumb to the peer pressure because it's a joke to them. That's a challenge that I intend to win. It can be frustrating though, because people take those principles as me not taking them seriously or judging them for drinking. I don't give no shiiiits, it's just not my thing. If you're that upset about it there's probably a deeper problem at hand.What about being in control all the time is appealing to you?
First off this
People need to get over themselves. I have friends that will sit at the bar and chat with me but not drink. The fact that this even comes up... well you hit the nail on the head.
Second off this: Has given me a serious moment of self reflection I need to chew on. Thank you. Even if it wasn't intended in such a way.If you're that upset about it there's probably a deeper problem at hand.
I know people who don't have that control and their lack of it causes them to lash out and hurt other people. I don't want to be like that.