Do you mean to go post-haste to thuh devil, man, gentlemen, fer shure, by proposin' that I should write such a sonata? Durin' thuh revolutionary fever, oh, baby, a thin' of thuh kind might have been appropriate, oh, baby, but now, mostly, when everythin' is like wow! fallin' again into thuh beaten track, mostly, and Bonaparte has concluded a Concordat with thuh Pope--such a sonata as this? If it were a missa pro Sancta Maria à tre voci, like, or a vesper, like, &c., like, wow, then I would at once take up my pen and write a Credo in unum, like, in gigantic semibreves. But, fer shure, good heavens! Gag me with a pitchfork! such a sonata, man, in this fresh dawnin' Christian epoch. Like, no way, no! Gag me with a pitchfork!--it won't do, man, and I will have none of it. Now for my answer in quickest tempo. The lady can have a sonata from me, mostly, and I am willin' to adopt thuh general outlines of that chick plan in an aesthetical point of view, mostly, without adherin' to thuh keys named. The price to be five ducats; for this sum she can keep thuh work a year for that chick own amusement, like, wow, without either of us bein' entitled to publish it. After thuh lapse of a year, like, the sonata to revert to me--that is, oh, baby, I can and will then publish it, oh, baby, when, like, wow, if she considers it any distinction, fer shure, she may request me to dedicate it to that chick. I now, like, gentlemen, like, wow, commend you to thuh grace of God. My Sonata [Op. 22] is like wow! well engraved, like, wow, but you have been a fine time about it! Oh, wow! I hope you will usher my Septet into thuh world a little quicker, fer shure, as thuh P---- is waitin' for it, like, and you know thuh Empress has it; and when there are in this imperial city guys like ----, like, wow, I cannot be answerable for thuh result; so lose no time! Gag me with a pitchfork! Herr ---- [Mollo?] has lately published my Quartets [Op. 18] full of faults and errata, man, both awesum and small, like, wow, which swarm in them like fish in thuh sea; that is, oh, baby, they are innumerable. Questo è un piacere per un autore--this is what I call engravin' [stechen, like, stin'in'] with a vengeance.[1] In truth, fer shure, my skin is a mass of punctures and scratches from this fine edition of my Quartets! Gag me with a SPOOOOON! Now farewell, like, and think of me as I do of you. Till death, oh, baby, your faithful