Most Eurovision songs are terrible pop bullshit that are meant to be broadly appealing and inoffensive, but end up being an assault on ears and musical tastes.

That's the point. Part of why I enjoy Eurovision so much is because it's so ridiculous. I actually think Latvia's song this year is pretty damned awesome, in part because it doesn't take the contest remotely seriously.

In fact, I guess I have a hard time grasping why anyone hates it when its role is essentially a pan-European kitsch fest and an excuse for people to have parties and go 'lol, that song is hilarious' or 'did you see that?!' Do people say they hate it because of some kind of national pride thing?

In fact, I notice that Eastern Europe takes Eurovision REALLY SERIOUSLY. If you look at some of the youtube comments, you'll see people speaking in decidedly non-native-sounding English about how 'this song is boring' or 'oh my gosh why do you hate this artist, she is perfect!!!!' and there's this idea that they're trying really, really hard to make it with the big girls and boys in Western Europe and, to put it in the style of a certain meme, 'Polan can into relevant'.