I have every journal I've ever kept. I keep them in an apple crate in my office. I was actually thinking about posting to Hubski as I'm moving, and whenever I move I shed a layer of possessions. And I wanted to know what Hubski thought about whether I should keep those journals or not. (I've kept journals off-and-on since I was 11 or 12. I took a hiatus of sorts around 19 but still have come back to it, at least minorly. It's a VERY HEAVY apple crate.)

I originally started keeping journals a) because I liked to write and b) because I forgot things. Lately I've been questioning the worth of these as, after all, when am I going to reread them? Probably not soon. And probably, a lot of the things I cared about at the age of 13 or 15, I couldn't give a shit about now. But I know I can't bear to throw them away...and that's probably why I haven't bothered asking Hubski what they think; because I know I am going to keep them anyway.

I'm not a sentimental person and I tend to throw things away. My mother had a whole box of art/school/'important' work that I'd done from kindergarten onwards, it was stored in my closet. I threw that away. I don't know if she even realizes it's gone. But I can't or won't get rid of these journals. Part of me thinks, if I ever finish that ficionalized autobiography I'm working on, maybe I can use them as source material. Part of me thinks, maybe if I want to understand who I am now better, I could reread them and see what it is I don't remember that may have impacted who I am.

Like insomniasexx, my mother has also invaded my private space. I don't know if she's read my journals per se but honestly she probably has read parts of some of them. I can also relate to insomnia in that, if my mother hadn't broken my confidance in that way, I know I would have been more willing to talk to her (eventually) about things going on in my life. Now that she has broken my confidence in her I don't know if I will ever talk to her about the things she has discovered on her own through prying in my personal papers. Part of me thinks, eventually...and part of me thinks, given enough time, it won't matter.

I took a break from journaling in college when my life was real shitty and I was going through a lot of stuff. (Around the age of 19.) Now I'm trying to get back into it, but I don't force myself either. I update my personal journal once a week or so.

I still find it valuable on at least some level because I still have a shitty memory. Writing down what happens and who said what helps me remember. I also do find it helpful on a meditative level and think it could help me more if I did it more. But do I think it would help me if I forced it? No. Journal writing is so much more personal than even poetry writing - I will force myself to write poetry just to practice writing poetry - but that's not what journal writing is about for me.

Most of what I write in my journal is thoughts and records on my day-to-date life. Who I like, who I hate, who I'm dating, who my friends are, what they think, the general details of my life & what I think about what's going on. I've 're-discovered' things about myself from a long time ago by revisiting these journals, confused thoughts that I could only let out in private pages. And it's been useful to look back on. I would hope to continue/resurrect my journaling habits so that me, at 30 or 40 or 50, can possibly gain such insight on how I feel now. Or my thoughts about myself.

Right now in the current journal I'm working on, I have entries that go as far back as 12/30/2010, definitely the longest I've ever worked on a single journal. I used to tear through them. I used to journal a shit ton.

Thinking on it, now, I feel I should revisit them...but there is also the matter of how much minutiae I don't care about that is inscribed in those pages. You know? How much shit would I have to leaf through in order to mine gems about myself I didn't realize I used to know?