While walking two blocks from my car to my job I saw a woman struggling with a man. They were basically wrestling standing up while arguing, he was getting the better of her. It seemed to be a domestic dispute that had crossed the line. I didn't really know how to intervene, or weather my involvement would be appreciated by either of the parties. So I decided I'd let the women call the shots.

"Do you need assistance Ma'me?" was what I asked. Seems like a somewhat lame line, but she answered in a desperate yes.

I am a pretty big guy, 6'2" and probably a more svelte 200 lbs at the time, and the other fella was more on the average side. I simply thrust my arm between the two of them, used the space I made to get my other arm in, and popped them apart. I wrapped the woman up in my arms and started moving her towards my work. The guy tried to get me off her but she cooperated and let me keep my bulk between the two of them. The guy was tearing at my arms and whatnot, but he didn't strike any blows.

When we got to my work I pushed her through the doors put my back to the door. The man cursed at and threatened me until the police showed up. When the cops came he got into a truck parked on the street and drove off (the cops were disinterested in the whole affair and made no effort to stop the guy).

I had an interim manager at the time, the previous boss had some kind of nervous breakdown and just stooped coming to work, who was a survivor of domestic abuse. She helped the lady clam down and arrange transportation.

It worked out great for me, my new boss took a real shine to me from that point on. Before this incident management seemed pretty suspicious of the employees, the whole place had become a pain in their ass, and we were all painted as part of the problem. After this happened the new boss and I were able to talk about what was going wrong and right at the business and get things pointed in a better direction (it was a family owned cafe, hard to explain what the dynamics were, but one sister ran it like a little doll house, when she lost her mind another sister came in to run it. The sister who came took over had no idea what was going on and based her view on the staff by her mentally ill sisters ramblings. The father was an Oregon timber millionaire who could give a shit about fucked up little cafe, and just wanted the whole thing to go away). The new sister prepared the place for sale, talked me up to the new buyers and I became the new general manager of the place.

I don't know if that is a karma tale or what. What I do know is that when I see something like this going down my stomach sinks and I think "fuck....I don't want to get involved with this" and then I most the time I get involved. I sometimes regret butting my head into this kind of stuff, but I know that there are times I really regret not getting involved more.

I remember walking home from a long shift as a line cook in Cambridge Mass, seeing a young man sitting on some steps going through an obviously terrible hallucinogenic trip. I have done more time then I ever wanted talking people through bad drug experiences. I was very tired, I just wanted to drop by the store to pick up a beer and go home. I knew I could help, but fuck it he did it too himself, I kept walking. While selecting my purchase from the coolers located in the back of the store I heard the front doors of the 7/11 shatter. It was my acid tripper. He lurched into the store like a deranged zombie, knocking cupcakes and chip racks hither and yon. It took less then a minute for the cops to come rushing through the door, slamming the kid around dropping him to the floor, and basically kicking the shit out of him in your normal excessive cop manner. The kid thrashed at his cuffs like a wild animal, bellowing incoherently, pained, scared and confused.

I still feel terrible that I didn't stop to help that guy. It would have been a long lame night, but I'm sure that I could have gotten him calmed down and kept him safe. I know that it wasn't my duty, but it would have been the humane thing to do.

I think that "I saw a car accident and didn't stop" might be a more interesting discussion, or at least might illuminate more about our character. I think it's our failures that really teach us things. This kid certainly taught me something about being humane, still bothers me to this day.