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Haha, it really makes you think, huh? I can name a few alternatives off the top of my head: Carbon Fiber: Light and rigid and strong. Hydrophobic Rubber: Like the kind they're using for new "hip" plungers? It could be shaped like those rubber party poppers, like so, that invert when not in use. Reinforced Cardboard/Newspapers: As one of those "trendy" new "recycle" gimmicks, like the Mighty Wallet. Maybe I should become a full time umbrella designer.