uhaul pickup june 30, moving july 1. it's down to the wire and i'm touching the third rail. we do not have jobs locked up yet. i'm decided on the emt stuff - i have a program picked out to register for june 2nd - because it's the only thing that has given me passion in maybe ever, and also fuck it, this is the perfect opportunity to go crazy - and also my mom's mom said that she could so see me doing that "because {I'm} so empathetic"

i need something to hold us down for the first 6-ish months. I'm looking for hospital or doctor's office type jobs. I'm scared shitless about everything to be honest - and my boyfriend is too, because he's withdrawing into himself like he does at times like this. it's really hard. I'm gonna bring up couples' therapy to attend once we get there for a bunch of things, but generally the stress of the move and settling in.

i am checking procedural stuff off the list steadily, but there is still a lot to do, and i really really need to lock in on the job front because i've scoped out places but i haven't actually applied anywhere

I'm going to chicago on juneteenth to do some more procedurals at the utility companies and also to tour the apartment/neighborhood because we haven't actually done that yet because we had to snap it up right away because they were the only place to actually get back to us and so on and such as and etc

i had a 3-hour cry yesterday spilling my guts to a friend of mine who has navigated something similar (relationship strain while doing a long distance move). it's a lot, man. i feel like that one girl in the sitcom: I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so scared

I'm trying to see as many people as i can before leaving. I'm pre-missing them. I've never had this many friends, really good friends, and i get this thought when i head home that every time might be the last in a long time or ever. so with all that being said I'm tweaking