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ButterflyEffect  ·  379 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 15, 2023

OKAY SO here's the latest and greatest:

We're going to reference the last Hubski for numbers.

- Girl 1, went out again last night. Another good date? More good sex? She's really cool, but I'm not sure if I'm feeling enough of a spark with her to really keep things going. Idk, she's really pleasant and genuinely interested in me, my interests, and I feel the same about her...but...

- Girl 2, went out a great 2nd date for dinner over the weekend. She's pretty much out for the next 2-3 weeks though due to a work trip and subsequent family trip. The thing with her is we already have some more common interests, and there's just a lot more flirting/ribbing/roasting back and forth which is super entertaining, and makes for great conversation.

- Girl 3, out of the running.

Overall though, here's the rub:

VP of my department asked me a few weeks during our monthly 1:1 "why am I here", and "why do I work", and "what's stopping me from doing everything that I want to do" and spent some time telling me how she sees flashes of greatness from me at work. This is something I feel is true in nearly every part of my life, and is a truly fleeting feeling.

I have enough savings to fuck off and not work for 2-3 years, but would like another $35ish thousand in the bank to really go off and do whatever. And to take an aid and big wall climbing course. It's a weird feeling - kind of Willy Wonka-esque.

I've kind of gotten everything and more I thought I'd ever want and have in life up to this point, and it's like, what now? What happens next? Maybe I need to spend some serious time on figuring out more deeply who I am, what my values are, what my vision is for myself.