Between quitting the shittiest job I had out of college and starting the least-shittiest job I had out of college I spent five months unemployed while Boeing was on strike. One of the jobs I interviewed for was being headhunted by a temp agency. So I came into the temp agency and interviewed. Then they made me do their office assistant evaluations.

I looked at them - this is an engineering gig? Requires calculus? No fux given, nobody comes in for a job without being assessed on filing, alphabetization, typing and 10-key. So, okay, I'm here, whatever.

They called me to offer me office assistant gigs for another six years. Apparently I was the fastest typist they'd ever tested. They assured me they could place me any day of the week if I wanted to be an administrative assistant.

When I was a cashier doing graveyard shift at a 7-11? My boss wrote me up for reading a magazine at 3am. The fact that the person who relieved me was never sober didn't come into the equation. That was the last time I worked retail, however.