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user-inactivated  ·  593 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 12, 2022

Yeah. I see where you’re coming from.

The frustration I feel with myself though, I think is very important to point out, doesn’t come from feeling guilty or shameful or sinful or anything like that. The frustration I feel, comes from both the knowledge that I can do more and be better, and the desire to do more and be better, and I’m just not living up to the vision of me that I have of myself. It’s because I’m not being told “I’m not good enough,” it’s because I’m being told “I have it on me to be amazing.” I think it’s coming from multiple directions too, like I’m in a spiritual slump almost to the point of having The Yips, to the being held back by a lot of fear and anxiety. I mean, I’ve lost count of the number of times I wanted to do something, only to talk myself out of it, and end up frustrated with myself the next day. It’s not fun.