Got a new challenge. After discovering that going full-on work-to-rule hasn't impeded my output and most of my routine stuff being fixed, it should occupy my time nicely. The current plan is to finish vol 1 and then take on a concept a day from vols 2 and 3 while going along with the rest. There're already caveats like watching Shakespearian plays instead of reading them, but there's a lot that's been on my list for years now, and it's often easier for me to tackle them as a part of something greater than individually. I'm on the fence about omitting the ones I read already, but it's better to handle those as they come along. Definitely gonna do Homer; so far I'm of the mind that the worst English translation of Iliad beats the snot out of the best Polish one. Though, in a year from now, I hope to read it in Greek.

I've been thinking a lot about my future lately, in no small part because of problems with people at work. Not with the adviser, mind you, if I got to work solely with him and his group, my satisfaction would be soaring. Regardless, should I stay with academia, I owe it to myself to leave abroad if only to avoid devolving into the "big fish in small pond" mindset present among all too many folks. Though, really, it occurred to me that the main reason against leaving academia is that in the end, I'd honestly rather focus on finding ways, any ways, of powering through all the necessary suck than go back to trying to find other kinds of work. Let's face it: I kept failing incessantly even when the economy wasn't one gigantic pig's breakfast. Terminal degree isn't gonna change that, so there's no point in pretending otherwise.

My medications seem to continue working fine, but I don't like the quasi-introspective state they put me under at times. Definitely won't go along as easily with another dosage tweaking, too. It's dissonant. Material occupying me at downtime should be "has it really been so long since I got any?" not "I don't even think with the language that molded so much of me anymore -- is there any aspect left that's still German?" Worse, I keep spiraling into those odd decision-paralysis states where I keep, for example, re-editing or re-drafting everything for so long the purpose of doing it becomes moot. They got even worse, and this comes from someone who's been sitting on reviews of Durant, GEB, Diplomacy, and others for years now. Those unfortunate among you to be in private correspondence with me no doubt noticed it's even moreso either a stream of overemoted consciousness riddled with mistakes or nothing at all. Apologies, as this is by no means an excuse but an explanation.