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_refugee_  ·  1065 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 28, 2021

So, dating.

I had one first date this past Sunday and I have 4 more lined up for this Thursday-Sunday. No double booking people -- at least not of yet. I'm approaching dating rather seriously this go round. The goal: find someone who I get along with and share a lot in common with, who I want to hang out with a lot!

It's interesting, this approach, because I've never quite tried something like this before. I'm using Hinge, thanks to the advice of several people, and it's going much, MUCH better than the playing field on OKCupid, so thank you for your recommendations. I've actually stepped a bit too far into the swimming pool as I have surplus of gentlemen who would like to meet. However, I'm absolutely refining and updating my selections for this weekend as various users seem less likely to pan out. I'm learning a great deal about some basic attributes I'm looking for in someone. For instance:

- i prefer someone who has experience in some kind of office environment mainly because if you don't you have no idea what the fuck i do and it's really hard to explain it; at least if you work in an office environment, i might be able to begin to explain it effectively

- also having a similar job = similar schedules, which is a big thing. i was awakened to the reality of this one when a bartender messaged me at 3 am hoping i kept "bartender hours." no, buddy, i'm sorry, but i almost never will message you back at 3 am. and i like to wake up at 7. most bar shifts start around the time i get off work you know?

- it's interesting how the pandemic has really diversified people's experiences of the past 18 months, and to be honest i'm going to have more in common with people who had similar experiences than i did. i have most in common with other people who went to full time work from home.

- obviously, i need someone with similar tattoo appreciation as I have, which i realized today when i messaged my thursday night date about tattoos and he had a decidedly lukewarm response!! something i didn't even THINK about until it happened!

- at this point, at this age, a guy with a kid or an ex wife is actually more interesting as a potential option than someone who's made it to 30 and no one has been willing to commit to yet

it's a game of quality AND quantity. there are a lot of great guys out there but once you start sorting out all the "obviously incompatible lifestyle" folks out the playing field dwindles. I am MOST excited for my date on Saturday. This person really has almost everything I am interested in...

....but now i realized i have to check about tattoos :)