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goobster  ·  1406 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 27, 2021

Life is weird, part... holy hell, I dunno.

Work

I'm doing less work than I have ever done in my life, and the work I do is more effective and more appreciated than almost ever before (at least at this company). I don't think those two things are causally related; what has happened is that I have a great manager who has found a way to bring me in at crucial moments on big projects, I give them a little flourish, and get a buncha credit for my contribution.

I diminish my contribution (in my head) because I'm good at it, and it is generally 'easy' for me. But the value I bring to the overall projects is undeniable.

It's just weird to have work not occupying 130% of my brain, soul, and energy... and still providing excellent value. For much of my life my identity was inseparable from my job. It's refreshing to have a life outside of work, and for my work and personal life to never cross paths.

Music

The songwriting class I have been doing the whole month of January has now resulted in me writing, recording, mixing, and mastering two whole songs from scratch. The third is the project this week, and it is writing and singing a lyrics-based song.

Everything else has been more along the lines of modern music producing, using samples, drum machines, synths, etc., to create "modern style" music. Most of my classmates submissions fit comfortably into any of the various "electronic music" categories.

So my song is gong to be punk/rock, guitar driven, with a Tom Waits-meets-Les Claypool kind of vocal style, I am thinking. It will also be from a distinctly mid-life perspective (I'm expecting there to be a huge rise in new punk bands where every member is over 50 years old), complaining about the various midlife issues. (The Tom Waits grumpy/gravelly thing, and the Les Claypool goofball think makes more sense now, doesn't it?)

But I have to sing. A melody line. That doesn't just follow the guitar. That has me worried a bit...

Life

The neighbors recovered from COVID. My parents and sister got vaccinated. My vaccination appointment was cancelled by the State because... well, they don't have enough vaccine or appointments available, despite my eligibility.

My wife's parents are on the decline, and not coping well with it. It is very hard to be so far away and unable to help them out. Mom would be best in a senior care center now, but they aren't taking anyone new (See COVID above) and even if she got it, she'd basically have to be confined to her room (See COVID), which wouldn't suit her at all. Dad's grumpy as fuck and kinda in a "burn it all down" mood all the time. Which is hard for us to see, and hard for his wife to live with him.

My Dad has reached the stage in life where most of his friends have passed, and his mental capacity is diminishing. He tends to find something "bad" or "negative" in the world and obsess on it. So we try to feed him good stories as much as possible... but his only living relative is a gunsmith in bumfuck Alabama who does nothing but forward emails all day... so you can imagine the "information" my dad gets from him...

Life, man. It has it's ... ways.