Having a tough time today. I've come to terms with the fact that my summer bar tour work is not going to be happening. And I have only a couple months savings since I was planning on slowly ramping up the work right about now. The plan was to volunteer on this plastic recycling thing this summer, get it on track to be somewhat of a viable business by fall. But now that's also a bust since the makerspace shut down and all our summer proposals are not viable anymore.

So I'm in this weird state where I don't have work - or anything to do - so the quarantine is boring as hell. But combined with an urgency to find some work. Ever feel stuck, like you should be doing things and working hard but are feeling paralyzed because you don't know exactly what? It's crazy stressful because I've never actually had a real job in my life, and working for someone else or doing some shitty work feels soul crushing. And while I have many other skills, making resumés and interviewing is certainly not my forté since I never had to before.

I know my problems are not super important, since people are dying and worse case my parents will make sure I don't starve. But it still feels like crap when a month ago I was feeling optimistic about finally finding some work I want to do to now being totally lost. And having to revert to looking for meaningless gigs.

Applied for some remote tutoring gigs and created an upwork account to maybe edit some videos. Also started writing a CV. Maybe something will help. The situation is evolving fast, who know what's gonna be the situation in a couple weeks. But todays's been the lowest day of my quarantine. I hope I can bounce back and regain some optimism about the future.