You are a good and valuable person.

You deserve better than an unequal relationship.

Find a person who feels a hardcore 'Fuck YES' when they get a message from my boy 'boots. Maybe that's this girl and she struggles to communicate it.

Regarding your question -

I think its fair to say I have come up from a pretty low place when it comes to self regard. It's a work in progress but so is everything else.

For me the change manifests in action more than feeling. I treat myself and my time and wellbeing as valuable and precious.

Examples:

When my (hard to manage) family wants to change plans, ask me to drop things unexpectedly, otherwise ask something unreasonable, I say 'No." now. Not rudely, not with venom. Just "No, that day/time doesn't work for me. Ask me with more than one hour of notice next time"

I was asked to sing/play guitar at an upcoming event for my in-laws church. Firm "No thanks, I dont feel I could sincerely engage with the spirit of the event." I could go into a rant and talk about how I sing and practice music for my own enjoyment, but that wont cause anything good or positive to happen. I know that to be true of myself and living that truth is freeing.

--------------------------

I don't think anyone should live in a constant state of anything, let alone high self regard. It would be deeply inhuman to only ever feel good and certain about yourself. That's not a praise of doubt, but of the value of the variety of human experience.