a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment
user-inactivated  ·  2415 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 16, 2017

    When in a group of people, just ask questions. Ask what somebody does for fun. Ask them what they like to cook, or where they last went on vacation.

    Most people enjoy talking, and sharing their experiences. People who listen are rare, and valued.

To add to this, something that's easy to practice with is simply mirroring what they speak about. IT gives the impression of active listening, and engages you in the conversation. A few good stem lines I use are:

- [Paraphrase their answer to your initial question], did I get that?

- [Repeat answer with some variance], tell me more.

- [Rephrase answer]. That makes a lot of sense to me, because [insert your own relatable experience].

Exactly as goobster put it, the whole activity will become more natural and even enjoyable. The best part is that you don't even have to make it about yourself, nor act like you struggle with X problem if you're not willing to or be vulnerable yet. Sheerly by the act of 'active listening' is enough in my experience.