I'm struggling with a bit of dichotomy when it comes to my electronic compositions lately. On one hand, I am fascinated and hypnotised by music that plays with fixed time in interesting ways (e.g. polyrhythms, odd time signatures, counterpoint). Music that can groove and feel natural whilst secretly being technically wacky, and the beauty that the juxtaposition of those things creates, blows my mind. On the other hand, I am increasingly drawn to music that throws traditional pop music forms, harmony, and conventions to the wall. Music that bends time, timbre, noise, and the limits of what some may consider as 'music' to its will and as result sits on a different level.

The problem lies in discovering a way to combine those two contrasting ideals. I just can't yet imagine what it would sound like. Even more so when I throw in other major influencess such as my innate love of underground club music styles. I have successfully created groovy ass tracks with odd time signatures. I have also explored noise/electro-acoustic music compositions combined ambient textures and beats way off the grid. But a way to play those two off each other still eludes me. The only way I'm managing to preserve any semblance of confidence in my ability is by remembering John Cleese's words on creativity:

"[There's a] slight discomfort and anxiety that we all experience when we haven't solved a problem. You know I mean, if we have a problem and we need to solve it, until we do, we feel (inside us) a kind of internal agitation, a tension, or an uncertainty that makes us just plain uncomfortable. And we want to get rid of that discomfort. So, in order to do we take a decision. Not because we're sure it's the best decision, but because taking it will make us fell better... Well, the most creative people have learned to tolerate that discomfort for much longer."

So I guess I'm just going to have to play around and be unsatisfied with everything. It's funny actually. You know that Ira Glass? Yes, that one I feel like that's happened in reverse to me. I used to love the electronic music I made and never had problem being satisfied or finding enjoy when listening to my finish tracks. But the longer I've composed and more expansive my taste and knowledge has become, the less satisfied I have been with what I've made.

This the latest thing I've finished. It's not too bad but fa from great. At least I'm somewhat pleased with the attempt, a small step in the right direction.Listening to it now, the drums would probably benefit from some more detailing.

By the way, the reason I keep making the distinction of 'electronic music', is because my instrumental music is coming along well. I'm going to start recording the acoustic album soon that I've been writing with a friend soon.