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Oh. I assumed your ex is a she. Apologies.
- my dad has asperger's so he just didn't see any reason why sending me a birthday card would be inappropriate.
He abuses you and then sees nothing wrong with reminding you of himself? That's so fucked up.
I wonder now why the hell is your mother with your father. She sounds like a woman who's not only willing but ready to take measures to protect her child - which is but laudable - but then, hearing about your father...