Oh. I assumed your ex is a she. Apologies. He abuses you and then sees nothing wrong with reminding you of himself? That's so fucked up. I wonder now why the hell is your mother with your father. She sounds like a woman who's not only willing but ready to take measures to protect her child - which is but laudable - but then, hearing about your father...my dad has asperger's so he just didn't see any reason why sending me a birthday card would be inappropriate.
Oh it's the psychosis. It makes him play it all down. I ask that question a lot too but it's because my mom is super tightly wound and my dad isn't and I'm just curious how they didn't drive each other crazy and break up, especially raising 2 kids. he's a good guy, very smart and kind, he just... doesn't get why this was the wrong thing to do. i also didn't really open up to him about what happened (i didn't to my mom either but she found my tumblr when i had a breakdown in college and realized that i needed some help with my anxiety re: the abuse). and that's not his fault. but I still want to shake him and be like WHY