a thoughtful web.
Share good ideas and conversation.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment
_refugee_  ·  1430 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today on "Questions you'd never think would be asked"...

I'm not saying "maybe you should have thought of that before you got pregnant" and clearly, my statements can't be applied to disabilities incurred during childbirth or early childhood and etc. I'm saying that if you find out you're pregnant and then find out your kid is going to be seriously unable to care for itself in any way throughout its entire life, while still pregnant, I don't think your first choice should be to decide to keep the kid a kid forever. (Yes - the article doesn't say that it should be your first choice, either. But I think maybe if you're pregnant with a kid you know you won't be able to take care of, maybe you shouldn't have that kid. It's terribly armchair-view of me, I know. People have all sorts of feelings about having children, I know. Silly me for caring about those a lot less. My position, of course, doesn't apply to all children with disabilities or even all cases covered by or discussed in the article. Sue me for not covering all bases.)

Sure, parents make controversial decisions about what they want their families to look like all the time. Sure, it's really easy to have emotions about it from an armchair. Sure, we're all glad we don't have to make these choices or have these thoughts. Sure, I can say "Never ever ever" all I want and it doesn't mean I actually would "never ever ever" if I was in that situation and everyone can point that out and agree with it until we are blue in the face. Sure, what the article talks about should only be a last-case resort.

Sure, it's easy to decry the mistakes of others. So what?

Sure, we could argue about how much choice a disabled child has in their life at all even before their parents unilaterally decide to permanently alter their bodies in truly significant ways so why does it matter they don't have any choice in that, either? I don't care. I'm still disgusted.