Whenever I try to think about having kids, as in me having children, (instead of just saying "Yup not really interested" and dismissing the idea on the spot) all the logistics and crap like this start to rise to the forefront of my mind and I am unable to get very far beyond "this sounds super complex and like it super SUCKS."

I know there are rewards to having children and I am sure many members of the community whom I value feel these positives and could speak to them. I know that just cuz lots of people suck at parenting right now doesn't mean I'd suck at parenting or necessarily fall into those same traps. (I see articles about helicopter parents and think, Wow, being like that sounds terrible, I would never want that.) In all honesty this article discusses some parenting quirks I kind of doubt I would develop - I don't think I'd be the parent that can't say anything negative about their kid.

But god does this sound unappealing too, even if it would just be about dealing with society's perception of the kind of mother one should be vs. the kind of mother one was:

Mothers are also holy in a way that fathers are not expected to be. Mothers live in a clean, cheerful world filled with primary colors and children’s songs, and they don’t think about sex...It is unseemly for a mother to enjoy pleasures that don’t involve her children.

If I haven't actually said it here before, my current "kids?" conclusion is that, were I to find a partner who made me feel as if he (or she) could co-parent with me in such a way as to compensate for my parenting flaws (and vice versa), at that point I'd be willing to seriously consider procreating. I don't know if that would be enough, but it'd be a start.

After thinking some more and reading this article I think my partner would also have to be super engaged and super enthused about having children. AKA, if any parent is going to " live in a clean, cheerful world filled with primary colors and children’s songs," I think it'd have to be my partner, over me. I feel like I would feel as if my identity and self were being subsumed otherwise.