"What the fuck?"

"Where the fuck did you think you were going?"

"To the sidewalk, asshole! The one you made no room for?"

(gets out of car)

"Oh, right. Make a thing out of this. Get back in the fucking car, asshole."

"The bicycle lane is on the right!"

(gestures)

"Do you see any room on the right?"

"What the fuck did you do to my car?"

"The fuck are you talking about? You just about ran my ass over and somehow this is on me?"

(at this point he fronts me...)

"Get back in the car. Get back in the car. Get back in the car, asshole."

(...and realizes I'm probably 40lbs and an inch on him, as well as full fight-or-flight)

"Goddamn right, piece of shit. Get back in the car."

(gets back in car, gets out his iPhone. Fer real. A six plus in a leather wallet case.)

"The FUCK are you doing."

"Documenting the damage you did to my car."

"Are you for fucking real."

"Just look at my car!"

"yeah it's all fucked up where you HIT MY BICYCLE WITH IT!"

"I didn't hit you!"

"Okay..."

(kleinbl00 rides off to buy fucking perlini mozarella)

_____________________________________________________________

Worthy of note:

Times KB has been hit on a 2-wheeled conveyance anywhere but LA: 0

Times KB has been nearly hit on a 2-wheeled conveyance anywhere but LA: 1

Times KB has been hit on a 2-wheeled conveyance in LA: 3

Times KB has been nearly hit on a 2-wheeled conveyance in LA: DAILY