I found this book I really liked is on you-tube. Your writing in you post was beautiful man, everyone has these feelings. Write a book and read it on youtube, it's more unique than gaming. You might make more money than print.
This is the creepiest self help book, because it worked. I had to decide after being popular for the first time, it wasn't what I wanted. Like literally my problems got worse, because too many people wanted my attention (more people, more drama). Gorgeous 6ft tall girl, who wants me, kind of scary attention.
I really throw myself into projects, none have been anything I really want to show anyone, but I am learning through failure. I am still working on mastery.
Instead of making a an impact in the artificial echo-chamber of the internet or mark on history, go outside in physical space and make a positive impact there. Learn a new hobby or volunteer doing something you have never done before. My favorite thing to do is WWOOF, my dream career is to have a farm with WWOOFers. It's a really cheap way, to get away.