Sorry! I know you guys don't like trash accounts but I'm new to hubski and this shouldn't be the first thing you know about me. Also, you're not going to like what I have to say and I don't want it held against me later.

I have a son with my husband and I am thinking about cheating. I'm not here for your support or your moral objections, but to shed light on your question from my standpoint as the parent.

My son is 5 and I have been married for 10 years. My marriage is not full of hate, but it isn't full of love anymore either. My husband and I have drifted apart for the last few years for no good reason other than that he is not fulfilled with his career and though he won't say it I think he resents me for it. He has followed my career as I make more money and so we have moved a lot. That got in the way of him finishing school, though he could have if he really wanted to. He waited tables and bartended a few places, but honestly I don't have a problem with him not working in the same way I do. I like it, but I understand why many others wouldn't like my work.

When I had our son, I took maternity leave for a month and then went back to work. He stayed home with our son and has been an excellent father to him. He plays with him during the day and takes him places. He teaches him things and though there are some days where I come home and nothing has been done around the house and they've just been watching TV all day, those days are few enough that I really respect how he runs the house when I'm gone.

But getting him into bed is hard. I don't know if he feels emasculated by me because of our financial relationship, but I'm not dominating in our relationship, even in the bedroom. I honestly think that I just need sex in a way that he doesn't and it's a huge mismatch between us. It didn't used to be that way even years into our marriage, but now I just need some passion and the spark is gone with us.

I miss getting hit on and bought drinks and being treated like something that was worth chasing. Now it's completely a physical thing and I don't feel wanted anymore. How much of my life and I supposed to spend sexless?

I'm going to cheat on him because it will be exciting. I won't tell him, and he won't find out. The rest of our marriage is great, but there is a huge fault in sex department.

For those of you that ask why don't I just leave? I don't want to lose my son, and I don't want to pay alimony and child support. I have looked into it and if I divorce my husband, I will pay him to live off of me for the rest of my life. I will also pay him to raise my son away from me. I work more than he does and our son has a better relationship with him. He will get primary custody. I'm not a bad mom though I'm sure some of you will think I'm being selfish. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life unhappy in a huge part of being human. Maybe I'll get it out of my system. Maybe I'll do it forever. I don't know, but I know that I'm hot and worth being wanted. I wanted him first but he doesn't reciprocate and so I'm going elsewhere.