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galen  ·  3529 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Meta-Communication: Trying to Understand Comments on Hubski

OK, basically, my issue with this is that it doesn't work when it really matters. I'll explain.

I agree that nothing on the 'ski can cause a tangible problem unless I let it. However: for me, the reason that I sometimes can't walk away from conflicts is that they tend to arise when I care a lot about someone. For example, the reason that Quatrarius's sarcastic reply to my comment stung so much is that I care kind of a lot about his opinion (also on some level I knew he was right, at least in terms of intended message).

This ties into an exchange I had with eightbitsamurai: I was having issues with one of my friends being a jerk about the music I was producing, and 8bit said something to the effect of "Simple. Don't be friends with him." I badged that comment because it was so simple, yet so effective, but eventually I realized that I can't just not be friends with him. I value his friendship, and, quite frankly, his opinion about my music. That's why I cared about him insulting it.

If I didn't care about someone's opinion, I would just ignore it. But when I do care, and they hide their criticisms behind insults, it's painful. I can't ignore that.

lil