[ It occurs to me that this might seem that I am advocating drug use, I really am not, people is people and some do drugs and some don't as long as you're not a jerk, you're okay in my book ] This is interesting to me because I am not always a fan of being always being in control. I have this outlook that part of being alive is accepting that our environment is part of us, we can not control it any more than we can change the fundamental properties of the universe. To me "letting go" of that control seems natural, although to be honest I haven't explored it as much as others. What about being in control all the time is appealing to you?
I don't necessarily see drug use a sign of being out of control either. They affect everyone differently though. I know one guy, someone I've known for years, who took a couple of shots of whiskey and suddenly became a monster. Angry, impulsive, ready to fight. When we hung out one night I ended up with 2 drug dealers a cocaine user and a prostitute in my apartment because he had invited them over from the street on the way over to my apartment. I could have called the cops, but I was literally too scared. These people were in my home. I haven't drank whisky with him since then, he's a much better person off the hooch. On the other hand, I know more than one person who graduated with degrees in physics and mathematics yet they were habitual drug users with completely normal lives from the outside. This just is reminding me of _refugee_'s quilt story: https://hubski.com/pub?id=198987Fuck yeah. Control is nice. I'm not a fan of losing it.